Beauty

     Beauty isn't always what you see, read, or hear ... sometimes, just sometimes, beauty - true undeniable beauty, is just the opposite.

   

Beauty for Ashes

         My heart, mind, and eyes are heavy tonight. This time of year often sends my emotions into high gear.
Not because I'm single, not because I don't have plans for Valentine's Day, In all reality it has NOTHING to do with Valentine's Day at all (not like most would assume anyways).

        If I were to choose a month that I liked the least out of the entire year. The 1 month out of the 12 we have each and every year... it would be February. Yes, the month that should probably be my favorite is in fact my least favorite.

      Too many goodbye's have come about in this month. Not just any goodbye's but final goodbye's. Goodbye to a sweet lady that was a second grandmother to me; goodbye to a man who was an amazing friend, 2nd father, youth pastor, best friend's father, and assistant pastor; goodbye to a dear pastor's wife; and goodbye to a childhood friend. Yes those goodbye's are the reasons I despises this time of yr.

     Tonight I did something I shouldn't have done (knowing how things get to me more this time of year). I read the news. Yes, I read the news. I read stories that upset me, disgusted me, and sickened me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, and I wanted to basically throw an old fashioned fit. Instead I kept my words to myself (until now), I closed my eyes, I took in the heaviness and then I prayed.

    I prayed for a world that has no idea the direction it is headed in. I prayed for those hurting. I prayed for those experiencing loneliness. I prayed for those who have no understanding of who God is and what he has in store for them.

    In the midst of my praying I found myself doing something most people would find crazy , I thanked God for the pain I was experiencing. Sounds crazy, huh?

    You see the heaviest hurts and pains often come from people and/or situations we really care about. Pain from the absence of loved ones; the heaviness you feel for a world full of lost and dying souls; are both pains to be grateful for. Pain doesn't always have to be the very end of us. Pain can be the reason to never give up. Pain can be what inspires us to make a difference. Many of us grow because of pain.  Can you even begin to fathom the pain Jesus felt dying on the cross for all of our sins?

    I am amazed how God can just swoop in and take our ashes. Our ashes of hurt, pain, and loneliness.  And from those delicate, black, hot ashes he can create something beautiful. After all he gives beauty for ashes.

     In spite of all of these emotions it seems God has given the Horne household a reason to enjoy this time of year once again. We are waiting eagerly for the birth of little miss McKinley Mae. She could come any day now and it's creating a buzz of excitement (though her due date isn't until the 13th). I'm grateful and thankful for this little bundle of joy that is about to enter into our lives. Finally, I'll have a reason to look forward to this time of year. Soon I'll be holding a little girl in my arms that will call me "Auntie". And that my friends will be ALL the reason I will need to look forward to this time of year again.

    Thank you God for giving beauty for ashes ....