You don't show love; you never speak of it. You don't show hate; you never speak of it either. You littarlly say and do nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
And yet the lack thereof (though silent) speaks; no,screams; louder than anything I have ever seen or heard before.
You cannot claim to be a product of your raising, because you were offered a way out time and time again. You were offered a saving grace and yet, you spit in the face of the very hand reaching out to you. Not with your words. Not with your actions. But, with you silence. With your breaking away. With you smug mockery .
People often change. Circumstances, situations, difficulties are all things that tend to change us. It happens. But we decided how we handle this change. We may not decided what knocks us down, but we certainly do decide what keeps us down.
I lost a dear friend a long time ago. This friend was you. But not the "you" we know today. No, this was the "you" that rose above all odds. The "you" who didn't let anyone shatter their dreams. The "you" who dare not carelessly hurt the ones they love.
This version of "you" that we have come to know is sick, brittle, hurting, and unrecognizable. I look at you hoping to see a glimmer; perhaps a glance; of the person you used to be and I cannot find it. It's not in your eyes. It's not in your smile, that you try to fake so well. No, you (the real you) is no where to be found.
For so many years we have all been hoping that you would come back to us. That you would prove those of us who had faith in you right and those who ever doubted you , wrong. But that's not the case. Infact it's the complete opposit.
I'm having to come to terms with saying goodbye. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that I'm saying goodbye to someone I no longer know.
If I would've known back then ; when you first lost your way; where things were going to lead, I would've said goodbye back then,
But today; right now; all I can do is sau goodbye to a memory. And all the while I still have a bit of faith in me that hopes you will prove many of us right. It doesn't matter how much or how little time you have left, please prove us right. Just this one last time.
